Upgrading Boyfriend System to Husband System

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to
Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the
overall performance, particularly in the flower and
jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly
under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other
valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and
Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable
programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0 and ESPN
2.0.
And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and
House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've
tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail.


What can I do?


Signed,
Desperate

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Reply: Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an
entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an
operating system. Try entering the command C:\ I
THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears
6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed,
Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the
applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to
default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or
Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will
create SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law
1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These
are not supported applications and will crash
Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it
does have a limited memory and cannot learn new
applications quickly. You might consider additional
software to improve memory and performance. I
personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie
6.9.

Good Luck,
Tech Support